


Meditations

by khazadspoon



Category: Black Sails
Genre: F/M, Feelings, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 02:16:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9577778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khazadspoon/pseuds/khazadspoon
Summary: When Thomas met his new liaison, he felt the old sting of attraction prick at his skin. He saw how the lieutenant looked at him steadfastly and spoke to him without fear of reprisal.Regardless of how he should have felt, Thomas was enthralled.A Thomas centric piece about his feelings for James and how they form into action.





	

Thomas had known his attraction to men was not innocent from a young age. At Eton he would enjoy tumbling around with his schoolmates more than was considered polite. He had even kissed one or two. Not that any of them would admit to it.

  
England was cruel to men like him.

England would dole out punishment for simple acts by men like him.

  
When he met Miranda, he found joy in the form of a woman. He found himself wondering about her pale skin whilst laying in bed at night. And, against his fathers withes, he married Miranda and loved her with every fibre of his being. Even if they did not produce children (much to his family’s disappointment) they were happy. Thomas was enraptured with Miranda’s wit, her beauty, her sharp intelligence and the soft way she would look at him.

  
They loved each other unconditionally.  
He did not mind her taking lovers, not after she had first expressed interest in the idea. She would come to him after her nights or afternoons with them and describe the events to him. Thomas took pleasure from those affairs vicariously; he imagined himself in Miranda’s place at times, thinking on what it would be like to enjoy another man’s body in such a way. When she described the affairs, Thomas would love her physically and they would both revel in the spark it caused between them. That spark never dulled, no matter the man Miranda had slept with.

  
When Thomas met his new liaison, he felt the old sting of attraction prick at his skin. He saw how the lieutenant looked at him steadfastly and spoke to him without fear of reprisal. Thomas was a Lord, McGraw was merely a man in a uniform; surely there was too much of a status gap between them for him to feel so at ease with this man?

  
Regardless of how he should have felt, Thomas was enthralled. It felt similar to when he had met Miranda. He felt that same warmth in his belly, that same itch to reach out and touch…

  
Thomas fought that urge for weeks and kept himself as sure and unemotional as he was able, which wasn’t much. He spent too long with his eyes on James’ lips, his eyes, his throat, the damned freckles on his cheeks. He let his hand linger on James’ shoulder or wrist when they talked. He spent far too much time contemplating James at night when Miranda was asleep.

  
Even after Miranda and James’ relationship became physical, as it was bound to with their immediate attraction, Thomas kept dreaming and aching over the lieutenant. They spent evenings reading and talking and eating dinner in his study. James offered his opinion without hesitation and they were, against all odds, friends. An equal footing between them set Thomas’ heart fluttering even as his father’s ire made his stomach turn. Miranda saw his feelings for James and looked at him so softly he wanted to weep.

  
“Do you wish me to stop?” She asked one night, her cheeks flushed with the leftover exertion of the evening she had spent with James. Thomas thought he could almost smell the man on her skin.

  
“No,” he touched her hand and kissed her, pushing the idea from her mind. “No, love; this will pass. It always does. We have too much to do to risk it over a simple… a simple infatuation.”

  
Miranda pressed close to him and he sighed, forcing himself to relax.

  
“Once my father is gone we will talk, I will… I will tell the lieutenant we don’t need to meet as often. A little distance will ease the notion;” Thomas tried to convince himself.

  
Miranda simply shifted, her hand touching his waist. “My dear Thomas,” she uttered a curse, one he had heard only once come from her lips, and looked up at him. “I only want you to be happy. Can you allow that for yourself?”

  
He couldn’t, not entirely. Not when the threat of incarceration or death loomed over men like him.

  
And yet he kissed James the night after with no sense of regret or shame in his mind. He felt light fill him as James leaned into his kiss and grasped lightly at his back. Thomas kissed him and tried not to let the extent of his feelings show but-

  
“Gods, Thomas;” James whispered against his lips. Their foreheads were pressed together, the length of their bodies flush against one another. Thomas was only vaguely aware of Miranda moving and touching his arm.

  
“Go to your study, talk. I’ll let the servants know they aren’t needed for the remainder of the night.”

  
She looked at him with such understanding he felt his heart soar.

  
James stayed a few feet away from him on the short journey. Their bodies did not touch, their eyes did not meet, and a heavy silence sat between them as the study door closed.

  
“James, I-”

  
But James was on him in moments; hands in his hair, lips on his lips, kissing him with such fevered passion that Thomas was pushed back against the door. He felt the hard line of James’ body against his and near whimpered at the sensation.

  
How long had it been since he felt another man pressed against him? It was ecstasy.

  
James groaned, pushing himself away and rested against Thomas’ shoulder.  
“I have… I have wanted to do that for an age,” the lieutenant breathed against his neck and Thomas ached with how warm he felt. “Please tell me you don’t regret this.”

  
“Never.”

  
His reply was immediate. He wrapped his arms around James and felt the world shift as though realigning itself on its axis. James made a choked sound, tightening his grip on Thomas.

  
“If- if you wish, you could stay? For the night, I mean,” Thomas said the words into James’ soft hair and felt James shudder.

  
“You want me to stay?”

  
“More than anything.”

  
He tilted James’ chin up and kissed him again. The kiss deepened, sparking lust and making Thomas’ chest seize as he felt James’ tongue touch his own. He heard James moan and grasped the man’s shoulders tighter. Their bodies moved together, the heat growing between them as the intensity heightened. Thomas nipped at his partner’s lip, sucked and felt James shiver. He felt James arch into him and made a harsh, guttural sound into his mouth.

  
Then there was a knock on the door.  
“Thomas,” Miranda’s voice came through the door, “may I come in?”

  
James took a shaky breath and straightened his jacket, not even realising his hair was a mess. Thomas reached out, stroking the loose strands and smiling softly. “One moment love,” he said loud enough for Miranda to hear.

  
“I…” James started to speak, pausing to grin brilliantly. “I think things are a little more complicated now than we expected.”

  
Thomas returned his grin, pushing the stray locks of red hair from James’ face and tucked them behind his ear. “Yes, but we will weather the storm.”

  
“Are you going to start trying to use nautical terms now, my Lord?” James stepped closer, trailing his fingers over Thomas’ chest.

  
“Hoist the mainsail.”

  
“Please, just let- let Miranda in,” he laughed, a twinge of fear in his voice as he mentioned Miranda’s name.

  
Thomas opened the door and Miranda swept into the room, a smile on her lips and a flush on her cheeks. She touched Thomas’ cheek and drew him in for a soft kiss, turning and doing the same to James moments later.

  
“Dinner may be over but the night is young; Peter and his friends, your peers, will want to hear your plans;” Miranda took one of their hands in each of hers and squeezed. Thomas loved her more than ever in that moment. She understood him, had for as long as they had known one another, and she knew how much his and James’ plans for Nassau meant to him.

  
It was time to move forward. And now he had his wife and James by his side


End file.
